Facing Me Read online

  Reaching out, I cup her face in my hands. “I, on the other hand, take my time. Make it last. Nothing hotter than hearing a woman beg desperately for everything you’re about to give her.” Kitten’s face turns into my hand, silently asking for more of my touch. She looks up with dark brown eyes just begging for me to kiss her. Parting her lips, she steps closer to me in a silent plea. “No.” I tsk, shaking my head. “Strip. Now. Then lean over the table face down.”

  Kitten’s eyes widen but she doesn’t argue, just turns toward the table dropping her skirt. I yank the paracord bracelet from my wrist working to unlace it while I watch her strip off the rest of her clothes. Hunter’s eyes lock on her when she lays flat against the wood of the kitchenette table. After separating the black chord from the blue I slide in behind her. Leaning down, I press hard against her, my lips grazing her ear. “I’m going to tie your wrists and ankles to the table legs Darlin’, then blindfold you.” I bite out, before biting her ear lobe hard enough to make her yelp in surprise. “Then my brother and I are going to fuck you until you scream.” Her tremble tells me that she wants this as badly as I wish I did. For some reason, it doesn’t feel the same as it did with Cam. Shaking Camaron from my thoughts, I smile against Kitten’s skin. “Good girl.”

  Looking over to Hunter, I motion for my bag. “If you want a piece of this…” Slapping her ass hard, I wave him over. “You’ll get over here and help me.”

  Hunter jumps from the sofa, looking at me in awe, before he scrambles over, dropping the bag at my feet with a thud. He stands there nearly panting like a puppy waiting for my next command. No fucking control. Squatting down, I lace the blue cord around her ankle. After tying it to the table leg, I make sure it isn’t too tight, then do the same to her other ankle with the black cord. Her pussy is exposed and there is nothing she can do about it. Once I’m sure she’s comfortable and secure, I yank open my bag. Pulling out a sleep mask, I thrust it at Hunter. “Put this over her eyes, while I tie her wrists to the tops of the other two legs with rope from my bag.” His eyes light up and I swear if he could, he’d bang his dick against the floor like a happy dog wagging his tail.

  After I secure her wrists to the other two table legs, she is in perfect position. Tied spread eagle to the table, waiting for whatever I have planned for her. I run my fingers down her spine making her tremble under my touch. “You may answer only when I ask you a direct question. Now, are you comfortable?” She nods. “Good. If your hands or feet start to feel numb, I need to know immediately.”

  “Yes, Sir.” She pants, making my dick jump.

  Stepping between her spread thighs, I grind my still jean clad erection against her ass making her moan loudly. Bringing my hand down, the loud slap against her ass echos through the room. Hunter’s hand is stroking his cock like a horny teenager watching his first porno. “Put that thing in her mouth for fuck’s sake. No sense wasting a good hole.” I grin.

  “You’re my hero little brother.” Hunter says, walking over to the other side of the table. “Open for me Kitten. I want those sexy lips around my cock.” Instantly, she opens, taking him in, making him groan loudly. “Shit…”

  This is the funny thing about controlling the scene. If, at any time, I think she is having it too easy, I have the ability to distract her from what she’s focusing on. Hey, I am all for presenting a challenge. Dropping to my knees, I latch onto her clit with my lips, and suck hard. Her hips jolt, attempting to buck against my mouth. Her moans are matched with Hunter’s, as I graze her go button with my teeth. I grab her thighs hard with my hands, digging my fingers in as I feel her reaching for her release. Not so fast honey. She’s soaking, which only makes me smile. I stand to my feet and walk over to the mini-fridge.

  “What the fuck man?” Hunter shouts when she whimpers. “Her moans were totally vibrating my cock. Get your face back in that pussy, Momma didn’t raise a quitter.”

  “Chill the fuck out. You don’t want this over too quickly. Everything isn’t about a fuckin’ quick bang.”

  Grabbing the ice bucket, I slowly stroll back over to the table. I run a cube along the red marks on her ass. She cries out around Hunter’s cock, arching toward the ice for more. Hunter's thrusts becoming harder, more frantic, but she never falters. His hands dive into her hair, pulling on the dark strands as he shoots his load down her throat. “Damn, your mouth is like that fuckin’ vacuum on TV. Never loses suction.” Hunter walks over to the sofa on shaky legs then sprawls across it. “I think she took a layer of skin with her. Holy shit, that was incredible.”

  “Well, if you’re done.” I tease, arching my pierced eyebrow at him, letting the bucket drop to table with a loud thud.

  “I’m far from done, bitchboy.” He snaps, blowing out a breath. “Just need a little recovery time. She’s not goin’ anywhere right now anyway.”

  Sliding my hand down her hips, I run my fingertips along the backs of her thighs. Watching the goosebumps rise on her flesh with every teasingly feather light touch. “Please. Please.” She begs, making me smile wickedly at my brother.

  Grinding against her again, I chuckle when she gasps. “Is this what you want?” I ask, teasingly.

  “Fuck me!” She screams. Blood roars through my veins. If Camaron had said something like that I would have spanked her ass raw and give her orgasm after orgasm until she begged me to stop. This isn’t Cam though, she left you asshole. Shoving my jeans down my legs, I grab a condom out of my bag. Tearing the foil with my teeth, I roll it up my cock and, without warning, I slam into her pussy balls deep.

  Rolling my hips, I yank her back onto me, pulling the entire table with her. My grunts matched her cries of pleasure, as I picture Cam beneath me. Cam’s tight pussy wrapped around my dick, those sexy blue eyes watching me while I drive into her again and again. Not even that one night in New Orleans was enough, I craved her more with every taste, every touch. Surprising me on the tour early, running up and wrapping those amazing legs around me. The beautiful innocence she possess, and her ability to push my limits just as much as I pushed hers. My cock swells as visions of Cam riding me in the ‘Burban the night she joined us on tour fill my head. Always so skittish about being caught, she shocked the hell out of me that night. But the best feeling in the world, was to watch her come alive. The only night I ever gave control over to another person...the night I knew, without a doubt, I began to fall in love with Camaron.

  I couldn’t control my cock around Cam. Just the sight of her had me pounding fuckin’ nails. The smell of her perfume would drive me crazy with lust. If she ever left, she would rub all over me leaving that shit on me. That scent alone would leave me in a constant state of crazed and horny; which always lead to some interesting sex when she got back. The pillow I use still smells faintly of it: peach and cherry blossoms, she had said but I knew it as MINE.

  The bitch tied to the table is forgotten. Instead, I picture her our last night together. Cam throwing her head back, crying out in pleasure, haunting me, making me explode. I collapse against the chick as my orgasm rips through me. “Goddamn it!” I scream, pulling out of her. Turning to Hunter, I tell him to untie her and massage her wrists and ankles. “Have some more fun man, but give her cab fare when she leaves. I’m goin’ to bed.” Then, turning my back on them and whatever else they have planned, I leave the room.

  In the bathroom, I turn the shower on to let the scalding hot water wash away what I’ve done. I haven’t touched a fuckin’ groupie in over six months. It was about Camaron for most of that time and now that bitch haunts me. I can’t shake her. No matter what I do, she's always there.

  I lean against the tiles, arching into the water. This battle that my head and heart are having with my cock has gotta end. Shaking my head, I grab the shampoo, Cam didn’t want me enough to fight for us. She got what she wanted from me and walked. I’ve haven’t heard from her since Tad attacked Daisy.

  “Well, if this is what you want baby, I guess I’ll be fuckin’ you outta my system.” I say to
the memory of the only woman who ever got my heart. Camaron is the only woman who will always have a piece of me even if no one ever knows. No way I’ll be telling anyone how badly I miss Cam because Aiden Chesterfield is not weak. When you let them in, they just fucking leave anyway. Every woman I’ve ever loved always turned their back on me and walked away when I needed her. That’s right, asshole; you turned your back on her before she could hurt you, and you are miserable anyway.

  Chapter Two

  Strength Blooms

  *Camaron*

  I have loved. I have lost. I gave it all up. Not strong enough to make the leap because I feared giving myself over fully to anyone. Being vulnerable, emotionally, is something I cannot do.

  Submitting to Aiden’s dominating ways, sexually, was the easy part. Opening my heart to him was what was hard. He had it from day one, I think, just stole it when I wasn’t looking. It scared the shit out of me. Who falls for a guy at first sight? Whether I wanted to admit it or not, Aiden consumed me, and I burned alive in the heat. I was his, still am. Not one man I’ve ever been with made me ache just for the touch he gave. Aiden knew exactly what I needed. It was like he knew my body better than I ever did. He could read me like a damn book, word for word and letter for letter.

  I am petrified of the spotlight; which is why we never could have worked. Aiden is a rock star and I’m just the nobody he was fucking. Groupies talked shit because my ass and tits weren’t plastic or because I actually eat between blow jobs. I started losing it, tearing into a bitch over things she’d say about him or me. Aiden reassured me that I didn’t need to be jealous, but I couldn’t help it. A bitch made a comment about sharing Hunter and Aiden with me at a strip club and I nearly ripped her hair out.

  That shit isn’t me. I’m passive, a damn wallflower. Aiden Chesterfield brings out the green eyed monster in me, which is why I had to leave. I just couldn’t compete. There was no way I could give myself to someone who I knew would leave me eventually. Just as soon as a perfect, plastic piece of pussy came along on her knees, ready to submit to him, he would have kicked me to the curb. Leaving him in Vegas was for my protection, survival. Growing up in foster care, you learned that rocking the boat was a no-no. If you make scenes, they won’t want you, Cammie. So, I was quiet, and I never learned to fight for anything in life. No stability, no roots. Moving and not getting comfortable with people or places was just a fact of life.

  Until I realized my heart didn’t beat when I didn’t have him. Aiden brought me to life in so many ways, but when I left him all that was gone. I’d lay in bed, begging for just one more moment with him. Desperate to feel his skin against mine or the sound of his voice commanding me, giving me the security I always needed. He was in control and took care of everything. Aiden is the only man I’ve ever submitted to, but it immediately felt right.

  For the past few months, I’ve settled here in Vegas. Originally, my intention was to visit ‘family,’ as well as see Aiden again. Only, the lead to my birth mother didn’t pan out. Chase went with me and has been supportive in helping me pick up the pieces, since the fall out with Aiden and not finding any trace of a relative. Luke has taken me in as well; although, maybe a little bit differently. I get the sense he wants more from me than just the friendship that has grown between us.

  Deciding that I needed to keep my mind busy and since I had nowhere else to go, Chase set me up to work for Luke. When they learned of my business degree, he gladly handed over his books for me to fix. It’s not a normal job, as he doesn’t have regular business hours, but it’s one that I can do and do well. I have a strong business sense for making things run efficiently and profitably. Keeping the weird hours of the shop has given me most days to do whatever, although, Chase and Luke work to keep me busy then as well. I’ve really begun to build confidence in myself as I find my place here. None of this fills the void left by Aiden, but it definitely has helped me find my strengths in the day to day.

  The dynamic between Luke and I shifts continually. At first he was asking me out all the time, but I couldn’t get Aiden out of my head or heart. He went with me to Minnesota, a trip which ended in a lot of tears and Aiden sending me away for good. I couldn’t fight for Aiden then. Hell, I don’t know if I could even now. Luke has been a source of comfort and security. Some days, I can tell he wants more than just the label of ‘friend’. Right now, I just don’t know what I have to give anyone.

  Since Luke knows everything, about my childhood and my relationship with Aiden, he doesn’t push for labels between us anymore. He simply turns the radio off when a Shaft song plays and pushes me to do things for myself. Lately, Luke and I go to the gym, where he works out like a madman, in the mornings before the shop opens. He says it’s freeing. I find my freedom in running. Fitting isn’t it? I run on the treadmill until Luke taps my shoulder, reminding me not to overdo it.

  Project 'Rebuild Camaron Allen' is a slow go. Working again is building my confidence, and standing on my own feet. For the first time in my life, I feel great. Plus, I have great friends. Chase and Luke forbid me to sink back into the hole I was in. Daisy made me a list of all things. Her and her damn lists. Now, I have a notebook page of 'fun shit' to do. So here I am doing number one, 'Ink yourself up bitch'.... Yeah that's what it says.

  “Are you done yet?” I ask when the gun stops buzzing. Luke wipes excess ink from my side and gives me a nod. I have always wanted a tattoo, but nothing meant enough to have there that I’d have to see forever. Until Aiden. Luke wasn’t happy about my sketch, but it couldn’t have been more perfect for me.

  Without a word, Luke helps me to my feet toward the mirror. I stare in awe, taking in my sketch, now inked in detail along my ribs. The orange blossoms stretching from my bra, down my ribs, nearly to my panty line. The words ‘For The One To Whom I Belong’ scrawled in black script. Aiden will always own me; it’s strange since it is over between us, but having it inked on me is calming. It drives it home. I belong to Aiden. The reminder doesn’t hurt, it brings closure. Aiden opened my heart to loving someone, trusting someone. Things didn’t work out, but a part of me will always belong to him. The design took hours, but I welcomed the burn. The little bites of pain seemed fitting to associate with Aiden. Pain bringing such pleasure, just as he always did.

  “Now that it’s done, can you tell me why orange blossoms?” Chase asks, walking in the room with ointment and bandages.

  “Orange blossoms mean eternal love, I googled it when the words came to me.” I mutter, angling in the mirror to see it from the back. My eyes hitting Luke’s pained expression in the mirror but he quickly masks it.

  Rolling his chair closer, he applies the ointment then carefully bandages my side. “Can we go fuckin’ eat now? You broads would starve a man to death.”

  Easing into my shirt I glance at Luke, his eyes trained on my chest. Jeez, men! “What are you hungry for Luke?” I ask. His lips part, his tongue darting out, running across his bottom lip. His hazel eyes not moving off my tits until I finish buttoning my shirt. “Luke!” I shout.

  Jerking up his hooded eyes, he smirks at me. “Chicken? I’m suddenly hungry for a juicy breast.” He murmurs making me blush.

  Chase slaps him on the back of the head, “You’re such a pervert!”

  His eyes snap to her smugly, “And that Hunter dude is a perfect gentleman? What was that nickname again?” Luke asks, rubbing the stubble of his blonde goatee, feigning concentration.

  “They call him Cunter, Luke.” I bite out in irritation and sadness as I not only miss Aiden, but everyone; even Hunter. “We all called him Cunter.” Shaft became the closest thing to a family unit I’ve ever had, even if only short lived.

  Choking back the emotion, I push by them and run down the hall to what is now my office. My thoughts are consumed by Aiden and my time with him. My time on tour and those months before were filled with so many memories. My best friend is on that bus, pregnant with a baby and I can’t even talk to her on the phone without crying if I happe
n to hear Aiden’s voice. I now screen my calls, sending her texts saying that I can’t talk. Giving her some vague, bullshit excuse. I just need more time. Slowly, I feel like I’m putting my life together without Aiden and, in time, I will be strong enough to hear his voice, and maybe even face the reality of seeing him.

  Of course, Daisy is friends with Luke and Chase too; Luke has done ink for Gray. She knows what’s going on, I just can’t bring myself to say it out loud. If I say it, then it’s real. Aiden and I are over. Just thinking it makes me shudder; soon I will find the strength to say it.

  Where does that leave me? Crying myself to sleep every night, unable to shake him from my thoughts, that’s where. I can still feel his caresses on my body, his lips on mine, but he’s moving on; Daisy has so much as told me so. I have a chance to be happy. Luke is an amazing man and he adores me… I just can’t let go...can’t move on. Daisy has attempted her violent shoves to put Aiden and I back together again. Sadly, she’s having a hard time accepting that it isn’t working.

  “You okay Cammie?” Luke asks, leaning against the door watching me. Trying hard to reassure him, I smile. Reading me just as he always does, he spreads his arms wide, and I burst into tears then run into his arms.

  Sitting on the leather sofa against the wall, Luke carefully pulls me onto his lap, letting me cry. His hands slipping through my hair, soothing away my agony. The pain in my chest is unbearable. How do you even look in the mirror when the person looking back at you is responsible for shattering your heart? That’s right. If I had insecurities and self-loathing issues before, I’ve multiplied them times infinity. I could move on and try to be happy with someone else. I should. Instead, I spend my nights yelling into the mirror. Because it’s all my fault that I'm broken. I’m fuckin’ weak. I couldn't keep him, but I can’t let him go.